Suspended midfall
by angelzcry
Summary: In which Logan looks for stability but finds himself running. Oneshot. Meh I'm no good at summaries. Read and review please


Okay, so I've kind of been AWOL recently but I did some writing for the One Direction fandom (my first slash ever) and I had started writing something else for the fandom but I was having trouble with it. So I decided in the mean time I'd return to the mission that made me start writing fics in the first place (operation ship Kelly with all of the boys) I tried something a little different this time and did the one shot in just one perspective.

It's not my best work but w/e it was fun...at times. You may stop reading my authors notes at this point and go straight to the story but I'm going to tell you why I love the ship name Lolly, even though it is not my favorite ship. (I am nerd, hear me roar!)

Lolly: Sweet, and if you savor it at the right pace it can last a long time

(_yes that's it_, shutup let me hear your analysation of the meaning of your ship name)

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush. The only things here that I own are my ideas.**

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She was smarter than him. And that was new.

"So how do you figure out the formula again?"

Logan sighed and tried to keep calm as James asked him yet another question. Gustavo had given them a 2 hour break while he and Kelly worked with the instrumentals of their new song. The boys were pretty happy with that, Kendall already calling up Jo but Logan and James were held back."Uh uh" Gustavo had said pulling them by their collars.

"Just take the two elements and see how many you need for all of them to have 8 valence electrons."

"UGGGGGGHHHH LOGAAAAN! But that's so much EFFORT!"

"Well that's how it works"

"Um actually there's an easier way."

The two boys looked up to see Kelly standing in front of their work table. It was getting a little hotter so Kelly had traded in her dress pants for high waisted shorts. And "boy did it work for _her_" as James had whispered in his ear earlier that morning when she walked by.

"Sorry?" Logan answered.

"There's an easier way." she stated again.

"Please SHARE!" James explained, looking for anything that would relieve his workload.

"Well" she said as she sat next to James facing Logan "Instead of actually drawing out the diagram of the bond you could just use the combining capacity"

"The what?" James replied

Though Logan wouldn't admit it as openly as James, he was puzzled as to where their (boss? assistant? what was she to them anyway?) was getting at.

"Ok let's look at one you already did" As she scanned James' messy sheet Logan noticed her grab a stray lock of hair and gingerly tuck it behind her ear. "How about Carbon Dioxide? You know that it's CO2 because there is one carbon for every 2 oxygen atoms right?"

"Yeah" James replied

"But if you look at your Lewis dot diagrams- your teacher had you make some right?" she momentarily looked up to see James' response but made eye contact with Logan on her way and oh... was he staring?

James nodded

"So on your Lewis dot diagram you see that oxygen has 6 valence electrons. So that means it needs 2 to have 8. And Carbon has 4 valence electrons and it wants to lose 4 so it'll have 8. So the combining capacity for oxygen is 2 and the one for carbon is 4. But when you think of it as a fraction you need to reduce 4 and 2 to 2 and 1" she said as she wrote the numbers above the symbols. " Then you just drop em and swap em. "She said with a smile."And you know that you don't have to write 1 as subtext. So you have CO2"

"HA in your FACE Logan, I told you there was an easier way. Thanks Kelly!" He said as he quickly drew her into a hug. Kelly looked taken aback at first and Logan understood why. She talked to the boys, but it usually wasn't this casual, she wasn't quite used to friendly James.

"Uhh... you're welcome " she laughed then. He'd never heard her laugh. But then most of the time she was around them she was stuck in exasperated mode "James..."

"Yeah Kelly?"

"Can you let go of me now?"

"Oh, okay" he said without the slightest trace of embarrassment. Sometimes Logan didn't even understand how James existed.

As she sauntered away on her tan wedges James turned to him with a huge grin "Dude..." he leaned closer to his ear" could totally feel her boobs"

And then he's slapping James on the head and wondering how he hadn't thought of that. (the formula thing, not a way to feel her boobs)

That incident was only the first of many more times that Logan found himself wondering how much knowledge was wrapped up in the woman he saw almost every day but hardly spoke to.

"How old are you anyway?" he asks one day because he's thinking maybe it's her being so much older that she seems to always be proving him wrong. But then he realizes that Kelly doesn't look all that old and maybe it just seemed that way because she had been so distanced from them. She had only been an authoritative figure until recently. But all of a sudden now it's summer and she's hanging out with Peggy and occasionally with James or Carlos. Kendall's been really busy with Jo.

Her eyebrows furrow and she leans her head back quickly almost as if saying "Did he seriously just ask me that?" But then she turns to him with a light smile playing on her lips. "Haven't you ever heard that it's impolite to ask a woman her age?"

He pauses to ponder the clause but then he just look back to her waiting for an answer.

After a couple of moments of silence she seems to realize what he's doing and rolls her eyes "I'm 19"

"Uh pardon me?' he answers blinking his eyes abnormally.

"I said I'm 19...are you okay Logan?"

"Yeah I'm fine-but we're 17!" he gestured to himself almost jabbing himself in the chest with the tips of his fingers.

"Uh...ok? Why are you asking me this?"

Regaining his composure he cleared his throat. "Uh no reason" his pitch increased at the end. A telltale sign that Logan Mitchell was lying but Kelly didn't press further. "Bye Kelly, see you on Monday!" he yelled without looking back as he ran into the elevator, jamming the close button.

"Guys!"

James, Kendall and Carlos whirled their heads around to face their friend panting against the door. "Yes?" Carlos answered.

"Get this...Kelly" he paused for dramatic effect. "Is 19!"

Logan stopped, waiting for the astounded reactions of his best friends and was confused when he got none. James spoke up "We know that Logan, where have you been?"

Kendall scoffed and turned to James "You didn't even know until like 2 months ago. And Carlos found out like a week after you."

"Fine, so Kendall knew from the beginning we he just _loves_ to rub in our faces!" James retorted half to him and half to Kendall.

"It's not my fault you two spaced out while she was talking to us. I mean it was the first day you should have at least _tried _to listen."

"Well I'm sorry I wasn't finished getting acquainted with her curves so _excuse_ me if I missed some of her introduction"

"Don't talk about her body like that!"

Logan was wondering who had spoken, but as he felt all eyes on him he was the source of the outburst.

But seconds later James was rolling his eyes and groaning "Ugh don't tell me Camille's got you on that extreme feminism thing too?"

Oh yeah.

Camille.

He forgot about her for a second.

Were they still even dating?

Yes, they were, the last time she latched her lips onto his he didn't push her away after 3 seconds so they were officially back on.

Logan sighed at the sense of familiarity, ridding himself of his jeans as he laid down in his bed. As unstable as Camille was she was also one of the most stable things in his life. Other than the support of his 3 best friends, he could always count on Camille being in love with him. Even though their whole cycle could get irritating, Camille was _safe_. And safe was what Logan needed.

He didn't need coffee skin that made his eyes dance, or the scent of ginger and honey that made his head spin.

Absolutely not.

Determined to stick with his decision he drifted off to sleep. He was one half of _LoganandCamille_ and that was how it should be.

(right?)

Things went back to normal for the following month...well kind of. He tried his best to avoid her (which she seemed to have noticed, especially when he walked into a room and walked right back out when he saw she Kelly was in there "If you don't want to talk to me just _say_ so" she had half muttered half called out to him) but occasionally found his eyes glued to Kelly's face, unable to look away and coming off as a "total creeperino" as Carlos had put it.

But his wandering mind was put at ease when he found himself in the steady break up and makeup cycle that was him and Camille. He sometimes found himself struggling to keep up but it was worth the feeling of security that enveloped him in the familiar beat of their song.

One day their fighting had escalated and he found rage cloaking his pupils. The reason was long forgotten but the feeling remained. He almost wanted to be stubborn, refuse to apologize. But then his mind deviated to thoughts of brown hair that was a little lighter than Camille's and explanations of ionic bonding and a voice that radiated warning as it said "Gustavo" and he felt as if he was falling with his eyes closed. He needed his solid ground again.

He ran over to Camille's apartment, an apology ready on his lips as he rounded the corner. He wasn't sure what he expected, but it definitely wasn't Camille, eyes closed pressed up against a wall with a mouth working on her neck- a mouth that doesn't belong to him.

A silent "oh" slipped through his lips before he began running the other way. Logan wasn't quite sure how long he ran but he found himself in an unfamiliar park. He was still trying to gain his bearings when he heard a voice coming from the left of him.

"I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain"

He walked towards it and found none other than Kelly _I'mperfectlyunnatinable_ Wainwright swinging lazily on the old swing set.

"A song's in my heart" her eyes closed and dark jeans rolled above her ankles "and I'm ready for lov-"

The words died on her lips as she looked up to find Logan there. "Well that was thoroughly embarrassing" she laughed as she stood up, brushing imaginary lint off of her light knit crop top."I was just heading home and yeah..." Her smile faded as she took a few steps forward and saw the state he was in.

"What happened?"

So he told her, leaving out certain details, but letting her know that his girlfriend was kissing another guy about 2 hours after they fought and how it didn't look like the first time.

"Well what did you expect?" she said after he finishes

"What?" he said, rubbing at his eyes.

"Well I don't mean to be insensitive or anything but you have been stringing that girl along for ages."

He leaned his head back against the tree trunk she had led them to so they could talk. Had he been stringing her along? But he needed her to be there...but she needed him to love her...

He turned his head to the left and discovered that Kelly had leaned back against the sturdy trunk as well. The sun had almost set when he got to the park and only got darker as the night progressed and he couldn't see much, but the light of the street lamps illuminated her face, making the stray hairs that head freed themselves from her bun dance around her head in a halo.

And all of a sudden he was kissing her. Lips pressed against glossed lips and his tongue skimmed her bottom lip and _God_ it felt even better than he'd imagined. But just as abruptly it was over. She pulled away and sighed "Oh Logan", her tone spoke pity, confusion and something else he couldn't quite decipher. From what he could understand though, it wasn't the reaction he had hoped for and somehow she had managed to pull the world from underneath him once again.

He was off running like he had been jolted with electricity (and fuck why did he always find himself running from something), trying his best to get away, anywhere but there.

Eventually he found his way home. Jennifer looked relieved when he walked into 2J but furious immediately after. She opened her mouth to say something to him but couldn't get a word in before he hurried into his room and shut the door. He'd deal with it, he would, but not today.

He tried to sleep, but found it hard with the pain echoing in his chest. He decided it was because he had done something so stupid as to kiss someone he worked with, because he never had a chance.

But he knows that's not the case, there was a deafening pounding in his ear drums because he had gotten a taste of something he wanted (needed, _craved_) only to have it taken away a second later

There were chants of _KellyKellyKelly_ vibrating in his skull because, for a couple seconds there, he could have sworn she kissed back.

_The next day he acts like he doesn't feel what he feels or know what he knows. He'd say he did it quite convincingly._

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**I am sorry this was so shitty, I didn't write it all at once so there might be tense changes, I noticed some and had to go back but there may be a few that I missed.**

**So I left the ending kind of open. You could say that they didn't get together by the mass feel of the end but you could focus on Logan thinking maybe she kissed back and take it as a victory. Idk it's up to you.**

**Tell me what _you_ think in the form of a review. As much as I love me some ego stroking, constructive criticism is also much appreciated. If you want you can use the 2 hearts and a wish method (2 things you liked and one thing you wish was different)**

**Leave me some prompts and I just might use them (I only write Kelly/one of the boys...at least for now)**

**Thanks for reading :D**


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